


Alleviation

by Xagave



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (nonsexual), Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Bulges and Nooks, Casteism, Everyone is a douchebag, Helmsman Stuff, Multi, Paranoia, Polyamory, Rape/Non-con Elements, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism, Xeno, graphic nightmare, gratuitous pesterlogs, kind of, light body horror, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-30 17:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11468247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xagave/pseuds/Xagave
Summary: CA: look sol has been awwful quiet for a wwhile noww and i think something is wwrongCC: O)(?CA: yeah i think its got somethin to do wwith his dreamCA: he talked to me about it sort of but i told him to talk to you about it instead and then he got all quiet like and out of nowwhere screamed his bloody head off an noww he aint talkin againCA: wwhat did you evven say to himCC: I told )(im not to worry about it, I’ll take care of everyt)(ing and also )(im!CA: fef he aint one a your cuttlefish





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladysekhmetka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladysekhmetka/gifts).



They hold him down and he fights. There’s innumerable hands all over him, too many to count that forcefully press his body into a freezing slab of dull, scratched-up metal while fingers poke and prod in places that they shouldn’t, in areas that foreign hands never belong. Someone’s leaning all their weight onto one of his shoulders and no matter how hard Sollux tries to toss them off, the heavy pressure on his back persists to the point of almost pain.

No amount of struggling helps and as hard as he tries to kick his limbs it does no good. There’s too many trolls surrounding him, squashing him down and he can’t breathe. His lungs aren’t working and there’s not enough oxygen in the room and never before in his life has he felt so suffocated, both figuratively and literally. His lungs work twice as hard to suck up air in a desperate bid to /breathe/ and Sollux can’t even scream because he can’t inhale even a single, tiny breath. There’s yet another hand there on his mouth to keep him quiet but even if his mouth was freed he has the terrible, sinking feeling that nothing would come out if he attempted to call for help. It’s like he’s slowly starting to break, pieces of him vital for survival failing to function correctly and his efforts to fix the problem get him nowhere.

Fear replaces Sollux’s indignant anger once his inability to escape has been solidified and panic surges through him in a prickly wave, settling heavy in his extremities. There’s too much noise and Sollux doesn’t even think he could focus long enough on the situation at hand to even keep /trying/ to get away. Metallic clangs and the scuffing of shoes and too many trolls talking over him all at once create a din so cacophonous that it drowns out even his own internal voice. It’s overwhelming and Sollux feels like he might violently implode on himself if he can’t get away from all the commotion and those awful, unrelenting hands. It’s too much, he’s verging on overstimulation and he doesn’t understand what’s happening to him.

A voice Sollux can’t put a face to barks out an order and a hand pokes Sollux somewhere with something and they place what feels like tape on him. His limbs grow heavy and it gets harder to struggle and fight until he ceases to move entirely. Sollux screams at his brain to tell his muscles to make his arms and legs /move/ but it’s a fruitless endeavor, and if he wasn’t already motionless he was sure he’d be paralyzed with fear. Why is he here, what did he do? Mismatched eyes plead for answers and mercy but the troll in front of him gives nothing but a cold, uncaring stare in return, instructing the hands peppering his body to retreat. 

He’s thankful for that small blessing if anything, but the reprieve doesn’t last long. A new pair of fucking hands pry his mouth open, shoving a plastic tube down his throat. A sharp spear of /dread/ stabs him right in the chest, and Sollux wants to reach out with his psi and knock back every single asshole who dared lay a finger on him into the nearest wall with enough force to crack their skulls but he can’t get that to work either. No matter how hard he rakes his mental claws through his pan he can’t even produce a single, sad spark. He’s royally /fucked/ and the tube-- a /breathing tube/, snakes its way into his lungs and has him feeling like his pan is in the process of being scrambled from the inside out.

The overwhelming urge to cry and scream smacks him upside the head. Sollux wants to sink his gnarled fangs into the nearest hand that passes by his face and rip its flesh from bone like making another troll bleed is his bid for freedom. He wants to hurt them until he’s released, but his body isn’t responding to anything his pan tells it to do and without his psionics he’s utterly powerless. Cold povidone iodine is smeared over his spine and they give him something from a tube connected to his arm (when did that get there?) and it takes all of ten seconds for Sollux to pass out. He doesn’t fight it.

It’s not entirely unwelcome, is the thing. The induced sleep is a route of escape to soothe his jumbled pan but it’s just that. Induced sleep. Artificial, fake, and forced. There are no dreams and no pain. It should hurt but it doesn’t; nothing has caused him any pain so far and it should trip all of Sollux’s red flags but it’s hard to do anything or think of anything while unconscious, but then again there was little luck in those two areas while awake anyways. He can’t even remember how he got here or /why/ he’s here. It’s like someone took an eraser to his mental chalk board and wiped away all of his past memories, and the only thing he can remember is existing here and now in this too-cold room with too many white walls and brilliant white clothes and blinding lights that hurt his eyes so bad they threaten to usher in a migraine.

Sollux wakes in short fits while the nameless trolls work on him, still unable to move or even open his eyes, relying solely on his sense of touch to parse what’s happening to him. It comes in bits and pieces like broken, fragmented movie frames he’s only allowed to glimpse for a few mere seconds before passing out again, and he wishes it would stop. He wishes all this would end. From what he can tell, they’ve got his back sliced open and his nerves exposed. There’s still no pain but part of Sollux wishes there was because everything feels so unreal, like he’s not actually there. This isn’t actually him, he’s just stuck in someone else’s body. This isn’t really happening to him, right? 

But he can still /feel/ it. He can feel latex-coated fingers prodding at him-- /in/ him, and the vibrations from a drill and even though he can’t hear it, the drill reminds him of a million jagged nails on a chalkboard and it makes the insides of his teeth pulse and his pan shriek in agony. There’s touch all up his spine, up to the lower back of his head and even at his temples and it feels like they’ll never take their hands off him. Sollux feels cool metal inserted under his skin in even intervals along his spine like some sort of fucked-up dermal piercings and he slips back down into deep sleep.

When whatever drugs they pump into him wear off, he opens his eyes and realizes he’s on his side. They’re murmuring to each other and inserting things into the shiny new metal circles in his back, looking to see if the nerves have fused and if they can get a pain response. It works and Sollux’s back spasms into a backward arch and locks up, a sharp stab of /something/ racing up his spine and settling somewhere in the back of his pan, hot and heavy and /wrong/.

Sollux blinks, but when he opens his eyes he’s not on the metal table anymore. He’s in a dimly-lit room that’s way too humid to ever be comfortable, and despite the humidity the temperature is cold enough to raise goosebumps. It’s a weird combination that Sollux isn’t sure is actually possible, yet the humidity clings to his skin, thick and heavy while the sharp bite of the chilly air causes him to shiver. There’s a wall in front of him, covered in what looks like thick vines and he tentatively reaches forwards to prod at one. It’s disgustingly moist and feels like an uncooked hot dog of all things, and when it’s touched it /pulses/. The adjacent wall has what looks like command terminals and all sorts of mechanical shit that he doesn’t know the purpose of. It looks like something he’d see in a spaceship and everything seems vaguely familiar, like Sollux has personally been in this very same room before but can’t quite recall why or when. 

There’s even more of the weird tendril things on the floor and even on the ceiling, every surface that isn’t already covered in some sort of faintly beeping contraption has been uncomfortably smothered with a layer of the squirmy dirt noodle lookalikes. If Sollux stares long enough, they eerily twitch and glow periodically. It’s incredibly unsettling and he wants to turn tail and abscond the fuck out of whatever the hell place this freakshow is before these things turn on him. 

When Sollux spins on his heel he’s met with the grisly sight of an emaciated body limply hanging from the ceiling in a cage of biowires, its laborious, scratchy breaths barely lifting its chest. Sollux shouts and scrambles away, only to back up right into the slowly writhing mass on the wall. It feels disgusting and he pushes away from it but as hard as he tries, he can’t tear his gaze away from the deteriorating /thing/ suspended before him. The tyrian tendrils have ensnared its limbs and Sollux watched in abject horror as they slowly creep up its body, burrowing into places where these ugly hentai abominations don’t belong, and Sollux gags. 

He forces himself to look at the thing’s head and nearly vomits for real because staring down at Sollux is /himself/. That’s /his/ face attached to that skeletal monstrosity. Those are his own too-big fangs and the same messy hair and the same odd eyes, rapidly flashing red and blue through barely cracked open eyelids. The gaunt cheeks and the dried, splitting skin aren’t his, however. He doesn’t own a flightsuit that hangs off of bones covered with delicate paper-thin skin because it no longer fits. Whatever this thing is, it exists in a perpetual state of duality, both alive and dead in a paradoxical state of cruel, unnatural limbo. There’s a pusher still beating in a chest made of flesh but only because of the life support sustaining it way past when it could function on its own. He’s half troll, half computer, and every dry breath he struggles to suck in is punctuated by creased, worried brows and a permanent too-tired frown plastered across his skeletal face, like he’s wanted to sleep for far too long but the wires and tentacles piercing his flesh won’t allow him to.

It’s horrific but Sollux can’t look away from the grotesque excuse of a troll kept alive way past its expiration date dangling idly from the helmscolumn. He only manages to rip his eyes away from the ugly sight before him because some of the biowires have started slithering up its-- /his/ too skinny torso and further up the thing’s neck, then finally roving over that dead-looking face. One fat slimy fuchsia biowire heads straight for the nose and plunges inside.

Sollux wakes up screaming-- /really/ wakes up this time, damn near falling off the couch he accidentally passed out on as he scrambles for purchase, bolting upright as soon as he can. His husktop slides off of his lap and onto the floor but Sollux either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, he can tend to it later. His current concern is yanking off his shirt and feeling along his spine and the back of his head with shaking hands, and it’s with a nervous but relieved sigh that Sollux relaxes into the cushions. There’s no ports, it’s not real. Nobody has touched him and he’s still safe. There’s remnant threads of panic weaving through his body, cinching up around his muscles and making him twitch while his pusher continues to hammer in his chest, but the swells of dread thankfully, mercifully begin to recede. It takes a couple minutes for Sollux to calm down enough to get most of the shaking and his breathing under control.

He’s not sure if this daymare was the result of him sleeping outside of a coon again for the umpteenth time or because Ascension is a few short months away, but either way it sucks and he’s tired of this hoofbeastshit and wants to sleep without some sort of awful interruption. Sollux is somewhat certain Ascension has a lot to do with it; he knows lowbloods are sold into slavery but /fuck/; he can’t stop wondering if he’s going to meet a worse, if more prestigious fate. The exact parameters surrounding how a troll ends up in Hentai Hell are unknown to Sollux (he refused to look it up) but he hopes he’s one of the luckier yellowbloods who escapes such a future, because honestly, the idea of having shit inserted into his body isn’t exactly pleasant and he’d like to keep his autonomy, thank you very much.

Now that Sollux is mostly done having a minor freakout, he shrugs his shirt back on and gathers up his poor husktop from the floor, turning it on and breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing that there doesn’t seem to be any damage from the earlier fall. He’s still a little wigged-out from the dream and decides that harassing his friends is always a good way to get his mind off of the more undesirable things constantly plaguing his poor pan.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: kk.  
TA: are you awake?   
TA: drag your overly enraged 2ad 2hiitty excu2e of a body over two your keyboard.   
TA: ii know 2ometiime2 iit take2 a gargantuan amount of effort two extract your fii2t from your nook and put your hand2 two better u2e liike a 2en2iible, ciiviiliized troll.  
TA: but iit2 kiind of iimportant.  


\--  carcinoGeneticist [CG] is an idle troll! --

TA: god fuckiing damn iit.   


twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Alright, he should have expected as much. Fuck, what time was it even? Sollux pulls back a patched-up curtain from the window with his psi and immediately regrets the decision when a bright beam of sunlight smacks him right in the face, and he shifts away from the light and groans. The curtain is left to swing back into place and Sollux vows to never do that shit ever again because ew. Karkat is probably asleep like most trolls with normally functioning thinkpans so trolling him until either of them ragequits isn’t an option. Fuck, ok, he has more friends, he can do this. He’ll find someone to help distract him, someone’s bound to be up still. It’s honestly weird for Sollux to be /sleeping/ at this hour considering how much of an insomnia-plagued bulgebiter he normally is; maybe the lack of actual REM cycles finally caught up to him and knocked him out cold for some much-needed rest. Except, of course, it came back to bite him right on the nook. Lovely.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling  cuttlefishCuller [CC] 

TA: ff plea2e tell me you’re awake becau2e iif not ii miight do a dariing acrobatiic 2tunt off the griippiing prong.  
TA: 2uper dangerou2, there wiill be flamiing hoop2 and tiiger2 and iill be on a 2iick motorcycle driiviing off a ramp iin front of an audiience who keep2 fuckiing throwiing peanut2 and popcorn and what2 probably chewed gum at me.  
TA: iit wiill be fuckiing 2pectacular and you’re mii22iing out, 2uck2 two be you.  
TA: youll have two watch thii2 2hiit later on grubtube but iit won’t be the 2ame becau2e you wont be able two hear me 2creamiing for dear liife a2 my 2parkliing outfiit catche2 on fiire and one of the tiiger2 maul2 my face.  
TA: they remove that 2ectiion for obviiou2 rea2on2 but iit2 unfortunate becau2e tho2e are the good part2.  


\--  cuttlefishCuller [CC]  is an idle troll! --

TA: of cour2e.  
TA: ii gue22 ii’ll ju2t 2iit here and fii2t my2elf.  
TA: oh fuck ii ju2t accu2ed KK of that.  
TA: that’2 ok, nothiing liike a liittle biit of hypocrii2y two wake a guy up FUCK.  
TA: talk two you later ii gue22.  
TA: glub.  


twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling  cuttlefishCuller [CC] 

Much of the same happens when Sollux trolls Aradia and Terezi. He knows he shouldn’t get disheartened at the lack of responses because it’s fucking /day/, this is when trolls are /supposed/ to sleep, but he can’t help but feel a little lost and scared. The dream is still hauntingly fresh in the forefront of his pan and he can’t shake the feeling of rogue biowires crawling around his body and can’t unsee those cold, lifeless eyes staring right through him like he wasn’t even there. Sollux has to take a second to scratch at his arms to make it mostly go away.

There’s an abandoned half-empty bag of (probably crushed) chips on the opposite end on the couch and Sollux briefly considers stress eating as a way to cool off more, but that daymare shook him up so bad that shoveling the nearest food item into his meal tunnel just plain doesn’t sound enjoyable in the slightest. He just wants to fucking talk to someone but nobody is online. Sollux has exhausted the list of trolls who aren’t completely shithive maggots and there’s nobody left to troll that he can stand for longer than two minutes. Well... there’s always everyone’s (least) favorite asshole; Sollux had forgotten to troll him in favor of talking to people who don’t immediately make him regret pupating or just plain being hatched.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling  caligulasAquarium [CA] 

TA: ii’m goiing two regret everythiing ii 2ay and or do after thii2 exact moment iin tiime becau2e that’2 a thiing that con2ii2tently happen2 wiithout faiil when you’re iinvolved but.  
TA: are you awake.  
CA: as if id ever dignify that sort a boorish inquiry from a slack jawwed dirt gulping four horned globe fondling imbecile wwhos too busy drooling on his crumb coated keyboard in his run down impovverished as shit apartment with a proper response  
CA: wwhat do you wwant you gutterblood swwill  


Ugh, he’s awake. Unfortunate.

TA: fuckiing iincrediible.  
TA: ju2t liike ii prediicted, you’re a deplorable 2hiit2tiick and ii of cour2e promptly regret ever typiing anythiing.  
TA: my regret ii2 palpable, iit hang2 thiick and heavy iin the aiir and 2ometiime2 ii u2e iit two 2hiield my2elf from the friigiid temperature on cold wiinter niight2 liike a 2nuggleplane.  
TA: but ii thiink iit need2 two be wa2hed becau2e iit 2mells liike a behemoth leaviing my lu2u2 dragged home.  
TA: but oh waiit maybe that’2 ju2t you.  
TA: 2urprii2e, iit ii2.  
CA: sol do you evver havve anythin actually intelligible to contribute to convversations evver because im tired a trying to find any real meanin in any of those hideous yelloww wwords  
CA: your ass must be real fuckin jealous of your mouth due to all the shit spewwing out of it constantly like some sort of uncontrollable geyser of fetid fecal matter   
CA: and frankly my fins are curlin in utter distaste for you and your utter ineptitude to address me wwith the respect im owwed and i cant wwait to wwipe out all a you ungrateful impure abominations  
CA: you an your ilk are nothing but an ugly stain on the perfectly wwovven tapestry a biology and i fully intend on takin a fuckin tide pen or some shit to that offensivve mark and renewing those prevviously tarnished fibers to their former glory  
TA: oh can iit ca2per you’re 2o tran2parent.  
TA: you eat thii2 2hiit up liike a 2tarviing aniimal.  
CA: eat wwhat up  
TA: waffle2.  
CA: uh  
TA: attentiion, moron.  
CA: im simply humoring you i knoww the baser classes arent as competent as those of more regal blood and as a result throww tantrums wwhen they dont get wwhat they wwant like a wwiggler wwho got its favvorite cheww toy taken away   
CA: its honestly fuckin embarrassin to wwatch you come crawwlin to me on prong and nub in the dirt an gravvel for attention and you should be ashamed of yourself  
CA: actually no im both ashamed and disgusted wwith myself more than anythin for even darin to fraternize wwith someone wwho has such shit quality slop slippin through his vveins like the runoff from a trash filled gutter  
CA: though feel free to grovvel at my feet all you wwant its your lot in life after all its wwhere your kind belongs  
TA: do you ever 2top talkiing out your a22.  
TA: take two 2econd2 two thiink about how maybe ii diidn’t 2tart trolliing you ju2t two lii2ten two you 2pout out all your wiilde2t fanta2iie2 unhiindered becau2e you don’t have a pan two mouth fiilter.  
TA: and ii don’t even have two a2k two know that you’re not 2o 2ecretly gettiing off two thii2.  
TA: your hand ii2 fiirmly entwiined wiith your bulge riight now and ii ju2t want you two know ju2t how gro22 and fucked up that ii2 on every conceiivable level and how ii’m probably fiive 2econd2 away from to22iing my metaphoriical cookiie2 all over my 2creen ju2t thiinkiing about that.   
TA ii don’t know why ii ever bother talkiing two you.  
CA: sol im kind of busy is there somethin you needed   
CA: aside from you tryin to start something atramentous wwhich honestly seems a little too forwward comin from you  
CA: i get it im a great catch that commonbloods wwould kill to acquire its only natural for your type to squabble for some sort of onyx relation wwith a mighty wwizard of wwhite science such as myself  
CA: but honestly sol like id even have the time a night to expend energy on someone such as yourself i appreciate the sentiment but i could do so much better that its fuckin laughable   
TA: oh my GOD 2hut UP.  
CA wwell you dont hafta get so bent out a shape over it im just callin it like i see it   


Sollux has to take a second to pinch the bridge of his nose and count to twenty in his head to get rid of the sudden spike of anger. This is the worst time for a mood swing but Eridan is such a frustrating person to deal with sometimes and it’s honestly a tragedy that nobody else is awake, because this is pure torture and he’d /love/ to share the experience with some other unfortunate fool.

CA: sol  
CA: sol are you still there  
CA: sol  
CA: sol  
CA: sol  
TA: YE2 holy 2HIIT eriidan ii’m fuckiing here.  
TA: what the fuck do you want.  
CA: i literally just asked you that   
CA: this aint a fuckin copycat contest though if it wwere youd be in first fuckin place youre leagues ahead of the competition congratulations on your complete an total ineptitude for evverything evver  
CA: wwait no cause its you youd be in second place since i knoww thats your fetish or wwhatevver right  
TA: can we not do thii2 riight now.  
TA: can we not act liike total iidiiot2 for once and pretend we diidn’t ju2t 2ay a whole bunch of embarra22iing thiing2 that put me and KK’2 log2 two 2hame.  
TA: ii actually contacted you for a rea2on and iit 2ure a2 hell wa2n’t about tryiing two 2pectaculariily outdo you when iit comes two beiing an all around diimwiit.  
CA: ok wwell are you going to tell me this reason or do i havve to guess  
CA: howw long am i supposed to sit here like a useless sack a tubers before you manage to gather up enough neurons to formulate a proper response cause like i said im kind of busy  
TA: doiing what??  
TA: ED iit’2 liike the miiddle of the day what could you po22iibly be doiing riight now other than beiing a colo22al wa2te of 2pace.  
CA: wwell if you MUST knoww im wworkin on a new flarp campaign   
CA: its the most deadly and connivving one yet and wwill undoubtedly result in a large cache of loot for me an only me and vvris can suck it  
TA: man why are you 2tiill playiing wiiggler game2 for giirl2 wiith VK of all troll2.  
TA: 2he’2 not even iintere2ted iin you anymore you know 2he’2 bored of you and ha2 been 2iince you were liike 6 riight.  
CA: like you knoww evven a lick a wwhats been brewwin betwween us but here ill enlighten you because im in a compassionate mood  
TA: don’t care.  
CA: shits darker than the vvoid a space and her aphotic passion for me and our treacherous games has been reignited wwith a paradoxical black flame that burns brighter and hotter than evven the most gargantuan of stars and wwe once again havve started dancin around each other in the most darin of caliginous wwaltzes  
TA: hey a22hole 2he’2 goiing two get you kiilled one niight ii mean look what 2he diid two TV and TZ and countle22 other troll2 2he fed two her fuckiing lu2u2.  
CA: like youd evver be able to understand the nuances of our relationship anywways all you need to know is that shit is gettin realer than kraft grubsauce  
TA: what a load of hoofbea2t2hiit.  
TA: we’re gettiing off topiic agaiin though can we plea2e focu2.  
CA: yeah ok sorry  
CA: wwhat did you wwant  
TA: can you postpone your 2hiitty flarp thiing for another day.  
TA: ii had a real fucked up dream and could u2e 2omeone two dii2tract me from thiinkiing about certaiin thiing2.  
CA: oh uh  
CA: sure i guess  
CA: but aint this somethin youd normally ask of from fef or ara   
TA: everyone el2e ii2 a2leep.  
CA: oh ok  
CA: so wwhat wwas your dream about  
TA: helm2man 2hiit.  
TA: iit 2tarted out wiith operatiion 2tuff then progre22ed iintwo me 2eeiing my2elf hangiing there iin an ugly ma22 of biiowiire2 and iit got real creepy real fa2t and iit kiind of fucked wiith me more than ii’d ever care two admiit hone2tly.  
CA: but you just did  
TA: fuck off.  
CA: to be fair youre probably not goin to end up as one of those things unless you fuck up on a grand cosmic scale and you get punished i mean ships do havve their own propulsion systems noww  
TA: yeah ii know but iit felt real and 2tiill DOE2 feel real.  
TA: ii know you won’t ever really get iit becau2e you’re a wader and you have priiviilege.  
CA: hey  
TA: 2hut up let me fiinii2h.  
CA: fuck you sol i got my owwn problems too you knoww  
TA: that’2 niice.  
TA: but yeah anyway2 liike ii’m a really powerfull p2iioniic 2o who’2 two 2ay they won’t 2natch me up and 2tiick me iin a 2hiip anyway2 ii mean ii’m free renewable energy.  
TA: a2cen2iion ii2 2uper clo2e and ii hate admitting thii2 two you of all troll2 but ii’m actually kiind of 2cared two hell and back about what’2 goiing two happen two me.   
TA: beiing a battery 2uck2 but beiing 2omeone’2 biitchboy 2uck2 two and ii hate that my only optiion2 are beiing a 2lave or beiing a generator.  
CA: wwell fef said shes gonna change howw all that shit wworks evven though i think its a bad idea  
CA: so i guess maybe you should talk to her about that since i cant do jack shit   
TA: yeah you’re riight.  
TA: ii gue22 ii ju2t have two waiit untiil 2he wake2 up but iin the meantiime do you want two play a game.  
CA: sure i mean  
CA: wwhat kind a game  
TA: 2liime rancher, we haven’t played that iin a whiile and ii heard the gla22 de2ert wa2 fiinally iimplemented.  
CA: wwait wwhat really  
CA: holy shit yeah ok lets play  
TA: ii’m calliing.  


Sollux sets up a mic request to Eridan and he takes like ten fucking seconds to accept the call for whatever the hell reason.

“What the fuck took you so long?”

There’s crinkling noises on the other end of the call and what sounds like Eridan chewing something crunchy, and Sollux eyes the bag of chips on the other end of the couch with maybe a little bit of longing.

“I was puttin’ away my food, calm down Sol Jesus fuck.”

“What are you eating? ASL, what are you wearing,” Sollux teases.

“Popcorn an’ I ain’t answerin’ those last two things.”

“Who the fuck eats popcorn when they aren’t at the movies, are you eating that popped bagged shit?” Sollux says as he opens Slime Rancher and waits for it to load.

“Obviously I do because it’s good, sorry I don’t shovel in Doritos by the greasy fistful like you do you nasty-ass mouth-breathing lispy parasitic drain on society,” Eridan retorts. 

Sigh. Feferi needs to wake up right the fuck now so Sollux can hang up on Eridan’s rude ass. He can talk to her about his dream and actually get some help on feeling better instead of just getting progressively more and more pissed off the more Eridan flaps his gums. He scratches at his arms again to keep the weird creepy crawly feeling at bay a little longer and belatedly realizes that headphones are probably a thing that should be used since neither of them probably wanted to hear the music from each other’s game.

“Hey put your headphones in so we don’t have an echo from the game,” Sollux suggests.

“Oh yeah ok one second hold up.”

The two of them abandon their computers at the same time to fetch headphones and plug them in, then Sollux loads his saved game once Slime Rancher finishes starting up. He groans upon realizing he’s nowhere near the area where the glass desert can be accessed. 

“So have you looked up how to get to the new area?” Eridan asks.

“Yeah, I assume your game is up and loaded and that you’ve explored or at least unlocked the area with the quantum slimes? Cause you need to pop the quantum gordo to get a slime key to unlock the door to get into the glass desert. Also you need to bring five quantum plorts with you,” Sollux instructs, already running over to his quantum slime corral and vaccing up some plorts. 

Eheheh, slime poop. He hates having to make the gordos explode; it’s a pain in the ass to collect enough of their favorite food (especially when harvesting a quantum gordo’s favorite food because it requires the player to sacrifice a piece of fruit to get this particular fruit from a different dimension) to feed to this massive hulking slime just to have it explode into a bunch of smaller slimes when it eats too much and then giving a shitty reward half the time. 

“Oh shit ok. I don’t think I’ve done the quantum gordo yet, where’s that one located at?”

“Uhh hold on let me look it up again, that place is such a daymare to navigate sometimes,” Sollux says while pulling up the info on where to find the quantum gordo, linking it to Eridan over trollian. “It’s at the complete opposite end of where you enter all the broken down buildings and shit. You know where the work in progress sign was? Around there, except you need to find a hidden passage that starts down below by the water I think.”

“Fuck, I’m in the indigo quarry right now it’s gonna take me for-fuckin’-ever to get to the ancient ruins to do this shit. Sol do it for me,” Eridan whines, completely over-the-top and annoying in every way possible.

“Uh, no? Did you install teleporters to get back to the ranch like I told you to?”

Eridan might suck at this game but Sollux isn’t about to make things harder on himself when trying to access the glass desert and thinks ahead, running over to the lab and fabricating a new set of two teleporters with his last diamond. He drops one in a barren section of the ranch in front of his growing crops (Sollux figured he might as well set home base for his teleporters in the actual home base for the game) while listening to Eridan moan and groan some more over his shitty in-game life choices.

“No Sol because not everyone can find four fuckin’ strange diamonds all in one sitting you grubfucking insensitive tw-wit.” 

Ahh, the stutter. It alwuh-ways comes out when Eridan is frustrated or scared and it’s forever immensely pleasing to hear when it pops out due to the former option. 

“Fuck you I told you where to find the treasure pod that has one in it in the indigo quarry where you fucking /are/ and maybe if you put down more advanced drills you’d get more diamonds you enormous disappointment. Anyways I’m heading over to the entrance to the glass desert, just tell me when you get there.”

Eridan’s response is simply an agitated growl and Sollux is secretly pleased with himself for getting Eridan so riled up over such an easy to play game. Sollux fucks off after that, stepping on one of his already linked sets of teleporters that takes him to the beginning of the ancient ruins and then spending the next couple of minutes navigating his way over crumbling walls and buildings that are better off described as a fucking maze to the opening of the glass desert. He plops down the second of his newly-fabricated teleporter set so it’s linked up with the first one he set down at home base so he can easily blip from the ranch to here in a split second, then spits out the quantum plorts in these cute little slime statues that have open mouths to put plorts in. The plorts power up a huge built-in teleporter meant to take Sollux to the glass desert and he waits on Eridan after that. Someone on Trollian is pinging him and Sollux only now notices, pulling the program up and seeing that it’s Feferi.

cuttlefishCuller [CC]  began trolling  twinArmageddons [TA]

CC: Glub!!  
CC: )(i Sollux!  
CC: S)(ello?  
CC: )(-EY!!  
TA: oh 2hiit hii FF.  
TA: 2orry ii wa2 playiing a game and diidn’t notiiced you’d trolled me.  
CC: W)(at game are you playing? 38O  
TA: 2liime rancher, the gla22 de2ert fiinally came out.  
CC: O)( s)(ip really?  
TA: yeah, amaziing ii know.  
TA: ii wa2 kiind of only doiing thii2 two pa22 the tiime whiile ii waiit for you two wake up becau2e ED ii2 kiind of beiing a 2hiithead, though that’2 not really a 2urprii2e two anyone.   
TA: happy wriiggliing day, your 2urprii2e giift ii2 eriidan ampora not beiing a fuckiing annoyiing ca2teii2t.  
TA: you turn around and ED launches hiim2elf out of a cake, a2 naked a2 the day he wa2 hatched.  
TA: there’2 cake chunk2 everywhere and you go two tell hiim off but he 2tartle2 you by actually beiing plea2ant.  
TA: you iimmediiately wake up from that daymare iin a cold 2weat.  
TA: we can all go party on the piink moon and have a great tiime.  
TA: though iit’2 kiind of hard two have a party iin 2pace becau2e you have two…  
TA: …  
TA: planet.  
TA:   
CC: Boooo!!  
TA: fuck you my pun2 are 2weet a2 hell.  
CC: More like stupid as s)(ell!!  
TA: iin2ult them all you want but ii know you 2ecretly liike them becau2e they’re 2illy.  
CC: )(-E)(----E!  
TA: anyway2 why are you up?  
CC: I )(ad to go to t)(e bat)(room and decided afterwards to get a midday snack.  
CC: I was maybe going to go back to coon but wasn’t super tired so I thou)(t I could do some stuff online w)(ile I waited to get tired again and saw that you trolled me.  
CC: W)(at's up?  


The chat is interrupted by Eridan saying a thing that Sollux doesn’t catch due to being focused on Feferi.

“Huh?” 

“I asked what you’re doin alla that typin for,” Eridan repeats, a tad annoyed.

“Oh FF is online.”

“Does that mean you’re not gonna play Slime Rancher with me no more?”

“I am I just wanna talk to FF while she’s up because she’s not going to stay up all day just to talk to me,” Sollux says.

Eridan says something else but Sollux tunes it out in favor of replying to Feferi. Eridan will be busy for a while trying to collect phase lemons to feed to the quantum gordo and navigating the ruins anyways, and if he finishes all that then he can go collect some of the little glowing floaty echoes.

TA: 2orry ii’m back ii wa2 talkiing two ED.  
CC: Oooo)( you guys are talking?   
TA: yeah ii’m on call wiith hiim whiile we play 2liime rancher.  
CC: )(ow’s t)(at going if I can pry a little? 38)  
TA: fiine ii gue22 ii mean we kiind of argued for a biit  
CC: Did anyt)(ing -ELS-------------------E )(appen?  
CC: )(MMMM?  
TA: oh 2hiit that E got launched iintwo orbiit.  
TA: iit’2 goiing, goiing, gone.  
CC: Don’t t)(ink you can c)(ange the subject just like t)(at mister!  
TA: FF do we really need two have thii2 conver2atiion riight now.  
CC: Yes! Du)(.  
TA: no we don’t.  
CC: We do!  
TA: thii2 ii2 the wor2t po22iible 2cenariio for my feeliing2.  
CC: Don’t be ridiculous, it’s because you )(ave feelings in t)(e first place t)(at we are talking about t)(em.  
TA: FF plea2e.  
TA: i wanted two talk two you about 2omethiing 2eriiou2, not about unrequiited bull2hiit emotiion2.  
CC: Maybe if you TALK-ED TO )(IM about it t)(ey wouldn't be unrequited.  
TA: he liiterally ju2t told me he’2 cha2iing after VK.  
TA: ii can copy and pa2te hii2 2tupiid obnoxiiou2 viiolet word2 two you and everythiing iif you want proof.  
CC: I don’t need proof, )(e’s talked to me about you plenty. )(e likes you and I know you know t)(at too, )(e’s just putting up a front because )(e wants someone to c)(ase after )(im.  
CC: You know )(ow much -Eridan likes to self sabotage )(imself almost constantly, --ESPES)(IALLY w)(en it involves quadrants.  
CC: Little guppy loves to flirt but the second someone s)(ows any real interest in )(im )(e flounders!  
TA: what?  
CC: Man, w)(at kind of )(uge idiot do you )(ave to be to not notice t)(at? It’s so obvious!  
CC: I’m kidding like always of course. 38)  
TA: uh huh.  
TA: iin all hone2ty ii don’t thiink iit could work out, he pii22e2 me off iin the bad way two much.  
TA: and 2ometiime2 he actually 2ort of hurt2 my feeliing2 and ii know ii hurt hii2 ma22iively overiinflated ego iin return 2iince ii’m not 2hore he ha2 actual reel glubbiing feeliing2.  
TA: and ii’m a liittle on the fence about pur2uiing 2omeone who legiitiimately thiinks ii 2hould be thankful for beiing 2trung up iin a me22 of biiowiire2.  
CC: O)( quit your carping! )(e and I bot)( know t)(at I won’t let t)(at )(appen to you Sollux.  
TA: Feferii ii’m beiing 2eriiou2.  
CC: Ok. I am too, alrig)(t?  
CC: I can even not use my super great quirk.  
TA: no iit’2 ok ii know how much you liike two u2e iit.  
TA: but lii2ten i had thii2 really awful daymare earliier and ii wanted two talk two you aboat iit.  
CC: Fis)( pun!! 38D  
TA: eheheh yeah.  
TA: but anyway2.  
TA: long 2tory 2hort ii had helm2hunt2 2tuck iin me by force and ii wa2 thii2 old decrepiit helm2man and iit wa2 freaky a2 fuck and now ii’m really 2cared about what’2 goiing two happen once a2cen2iion hiit2.  
TA: iit’2 2o clo2e and ii’m not prepared and nobody for 2ure can 2ay what’2 goiing two happen two me becau2e what iif you can’t take the throne or whatever the glub iit’2 called and ii actually do end up liike that FF ii can’t liive liike that.  
TA: iim 2uch a piiece of 2hiit ii de2erve thii2 why am ii even whiiniing about thii2 ii 2uck on every level iim the wor2t troll aliive.  
TA: iif there wa2 ever a troll who wa2 de2tiined two liive a 2hiitty liife iit2 me becau2e iim nothiing but a moody biipolar a22hole who 2hould have been culled a long tiime ago and whoever donated the 2lurry two make me 2hould have al2o been culled.  
TA: oh fuck iim goiing two be a battery iim really goiing two be a battery.  
CC: SOLLUX!!!!!!  
CC: Clam down!!!!!!!! It’s not as bad as you t)(ink it is!  
TA: 2orry.  


Fuck, Sollux thought talking to Feferi would help him feel /better/ but now he feels twice as bad as before. Talking with Eridan had been a somewhat good distraction but now Feferi is doing that thing where she dismisses everyone’s problems and it’s fucking infuriating. She could carp and carp about looking to the brighter side of things and being cheerful and happy but her fate didn’t involve a shit ton of biowires. She could afford to ignore her problems, but for Sollux, his are staring him down like a terrifying immovable object and try as he might he can’t shove them aside for later or make them go away with a flick of a gleaming 2x3dent.

And now he feels like shit all over again because while he refused to look up information on helming procedures and the like, what his dream self had experienced seemed too real to be comfortable. A shiver races up his spine and Sollux shudders as clips of that stupid goddamn dream play in his head like an awful movie. He might be in the process of freaking out again because the distractions are gone and now Sollux is simply left here to watch his thoughts loop around on themselves again and again and replay the worst parts of the dream. The feeling of tentacles on his skin flares up once more and Sollux furiously brushes them off like they’re actually there. The fibers of his shirt are rubbing against his skin too roughly and every movement is uncomfortable, it’s too much sensation and it’s not helping the weird creepy crawly feeling at all; the shirt gets ripped off and lobbed across the room, landing on top of a bee mainframe. His bees deliver an angry message in beenary and Sollux ignores them. 

He’s too busy dealing with his pan liquefying and melting out of his auricular sponge clots to deal with upset bees. Sollux knows he’s safe and that there’s nothing nefarious trying to burrow into various parts of his body, newly installed or otherwise, but it doesn’t help that he’s sitting on a couch all alone in an almost pitch-black room. It’s just light enough to see the the shapes of objects scattered about the floor and pushed up against the walls, but the more Sollux tries to focus on the alternating heights of the beehives or all the game grubs littering the floor the sicker he feels. The one thing Sollux keeps diverting his attention to are all the red and blue wires scattered about on the floor in a tangled mess. They’re just wires, he /knows/ they’re just wires, so why does he feel like the second he looks away they’ll jump off the floor and curl around his body, squeezing the life out of him? 

He swears he swears he /swears/ if he stares long enough at one particular pile of wires he can see one or two of them twitch. Even if they don’t come for him now they’ll grab him once he’s off-planet and then Sollux is forever doomed to be a barely-alive skeleton in a block full of slimy fuchsia tendrils and Feferi doesn’t care. Why is he so paranoid? Where is this coming from? He’s thinking about this too hard, he’s too consumed in thought and it’s fucking with his real-life perception of things. Sollux has practically been holding his breath this whole time because he fears that if he makes even the smallest of noises the wires will /attack/ him and it’s such a ludicrous though that Sollux wants to bark out a terrified laugh. There’s no noise aside from the hum of his husktop fan and the buzz of numerous bees and Sollux slowly, slowly sighs out a stuttery breath, clenching and unclenching his fists to try and /relax/.

Lights. Lights would be good, lights would help dissipate the directionless fear and then he could “clam down” like Feferi so eloquently said. This is probably the first time he’s ever actually been legitimately scared of the dark and it’s all because he has a fucked-up pan and shitty yellow blood in his veins. Accepting his fate will come later because the most important priority right now is not maybe crying a little in front of Eridan on call like a little bitch. Sollux moves to get up but something thin slithers over his stomach and panic explodes in his stomach, suddenly propelling him off of the couch in a whirlwind of limbs, shouting in surprise. 

His earbuds are yanked out and Sollux feels like a fucking moron. It was just the cord to his headphones, fuck, he needs to get himself together. 

“Sol?”

Oh shit, Eridan obviously heard his psychotic freakout. That’s totally not embarrassing at all, nope.

“Giv- gimmie a minute,” Sollux chokes out.

caligulasAquarium [CA]  began trolling  cuttlefishCuller [CC] 

CA: is he ok  
CC: W)(o?  
CA: sol  
CC: O)( u)( I am not sure? We started off talking about you and t)(en )(e got real upset and stopped responding 38(  
CA: wwait you guys talked about me  
CA: wwhat did you say  
CC: )(-E)(-E)(-E I don’t know if I s)(ould say!!  
CA: help me out here fef this is vvital information you cant dangle it just shy of the tips of my flippers like that  
CC: O)( quit being so nosey!! You’re like a dolp)(in!  
CA: wwhat  
CC: Get it? Bottlenose dolp)(in?  
CA: fef  
CA: that wwas bad  
CC: W-ELL YOUR FAC-E IS BAD AND STUPID )(OW ABOUT T)(AT ---ERIDAN!!  
CA: fuck SORRY  
CC: Glub! 38D  
CA: glubglubglub  
CC: Glub glub glub glub glub!!!!!!!  
CC: 38P  
CA: so wwhat did you guys say  
CC: Wellllll I t)(ink you need to stop being suc)( a dummy about relations)(ips!  
CA: fef that doesnt answwer my question   
CC: Does too.  
CA: does not  
CC: O)( fine mr fussyfins. Sollux told me )(e likes you and wants to grab you and smooc)( you silly! In a black way of course.  
CA: WWWWHAT  
CA: bullshit showw me his logs copy an paste them exactly as they are  
CC: Nope!   
CA: youre pullin my fin arent you  
CA: thats unconscionable and rude and theres no wway hes harborin any sort a feelings for me that arent platonic youvve seen howw he talks to me ivve showwn you the logs i should showw you wwhat he said to me earlier its dowwnright vvulgar and insultin especially comin from someone the likes a him that finless connivvin muck vveined scum  
CA: he should be thankful i evven talk to him at all  
CC: See t)(is is w)(at I mean! You two constantly go back and fort)( and you claim to “platonically )(ate eac)( ot)(er” and you c)(ase after Vriska instead yet you willingly spend time wit)( )(im.  
CC: I t)(ink you LOOK FORWARD to Sollux )(assling you.  
CC: But I’m sure t)(e second Sollux says even ANYT)(ING )(inting at wanting an actual relations)(ip wit)( you you’ll do somet)(ing to ruin it like you always do because you’re dumb.  
CA: i do NOT do that  
CC: O)( yes you do -Eridan. And frankly I’m getting a little tired of waiting for one of you guppies to make a move!  
CA: if its fated to happen im sure it wwill happen you knoww howw these things go  
CA: its howw i got my gun after all  
CC: Or maybe you could stop relying on silly t)(ings like fate and just go ASK T)(-E GUY!  
CC: Trust me it will work! It’s like magic!  
CA: fef wwe all knoww that MAGIC IS FAKE AND STUPID AND DUMB AND NOT REAL  
CC: 38P  
CC: Just go ask )(im! It will be fine!  
CA: yeah like wwhen i asked you the first time wwhen wwe wwas 6 right  
CC: -Eridan we were just kids, people c)(ange. Look at us now! You and Sollux obviously like eac)( ot)(er so w)(at do you )(ave to lose?  
CA: i dont knoww maybe my sanity and self wworth  
CC: )(ow )(ard could it be?  
CA: really really hard like a particularly dense chunk a coral that you kick out of frustration and it gets lodged in your leg and then you bleed out in the ocean  
CC: if you survived doing it wit)( me you can survive doing it wit)( Sollux too.  
CA: look ill ask him later ok can wwe stop talkin about my stupid feelings  
CC: )(MMM SOUNDS PR--ETTY FIS)(Y TO M----E!!!  
CA: evverything sounds fishy to you  
CC: 38D  
CC: Funny )(ow you say you always P-ERS-EV-ER-E and c)(ase after w)(at you want like your old military generals except in reality you’re just a big weenie!!  
CA: pshhhh  
CA: i am not   
CA: its tactics fef i havve to wwait for the right moment to strike its howw you wwin just look it up youll see  
CA: though i dont evven havve to since our kind are inherently better than him by at LEAST ten nautical miles and he should be thankin us for evven breathin in his general direction  
CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN )(IM -ERIDAN!!!! >38(  
CA: fef hes fuckin piss yelloww im sorry but hes the bottom of the gross dingy mildewwy lowwblood barrel  
CC: Don’t you glub about )(im like t)(at to me!!  
CA: GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB  
CC: )(-E)(-E.  
CC: But if you t)(ink you’re so muc)( better t)(an )(im and t)(at )(e s)(ould be t)(ankful t)(en w)(ats stopping you from simply taking w)(at you want?  
CA: wwoww hey look at the time its really gettin late i should go back to sleep  
CC: O)( NO YOU DON’T.  
CA: fef please   
CC: 38D  
CA: look sol has been awwful quiet for a wwhile noww an i think something is wwrong  
CC: O)(?  
CA: yeah i think its got something to do wwith his dream  
CA: he talked to me about it sort of but i told him to talk to you about it instead and then he got all quiet like and out of nowwhere screamed his bloody head off an noww he aint talkin again  
CA: wwhat did you evven say to him  
CC: I told )(im not to worry about it, I’ll take care of everyt)(ing and also )(im!  
CA: fef he aint one a your cuttlefish  
CC: I never said )(e was! I just t)(ink its dumb to worry about suc)( a t)(ing since everyone )(as to listen to me. So if I say )(e wont become one of t)(ose t)(ings t)(en )(e won’t, I won’t let it )(appen.  
CC: I t)(ink you two just don’t t)(ink I know w)(at I’m doing. Trust me, t)(ings will be fine.  
CA: but fef  
CA: uh  
CA: dont take this the wwrong wway but wwhat if you dont wwin the fight   
CC: Nonsense! I’ll do just fine, you’ll see!  
CA: but you dont knoww that  
CC: I DO TOO!!!  
CA: maybe you gills can just out condescend each other since youre so good at that, princess  
CA: look can we get back to the issue on hand though please  
CC: )(mmm well w)(at if we c)(eer )(im up in person?  
CA: sure i guess but wwe dont exactly live a brisk wwalk awway from sol you knoww  
CC: T)(at’s ok I’ll get us a transport drone!  
CA: alright  
CA: maybe you should tell him about this though since he likes you an all  
CC: )(e likes you too!!!!!!  
CA: uh huh  
CA: ill get his attention i guess  


“Sol, you there?” Eridan calls out.

No verbal response. Eridan tries again and once more gets nothing.

caligulasAquarium [CA]  began trolling  twinArmageddons [TA]

CA: sol  
CA: sol wwhere are you  
TA: ii’m iin the ablutiion2 block, 2orry.  
TA: giive me liike another miinute and ii’ll be back out.  
CA: wwhat the fuck are you doin in there  
TA: would you liike a detaiiled de2criiptiion of my bathroom actiiviitiie2.  
TA: paragraph form or bullet poiint2, whiichever ii2 your preference.  
TA: ii can have iit typed up iin mla format and everythiing, iit’ll be on your de2k iin 24 hour2 at the maxiimum.  
TA: there wiill be copiie2 iin triipliicate a2 iin2tructed.  
TA: the2e turd2 don’t de2criibe them2elve2 you know.  
CA: oh   
CA: oh fuck no thats fuckin disgustin  
CA: youre disgustin  
TA: you’re the one that a2ked me what ii wa2 doiing.  
CA: eww did you take your computer in wwith you  
TA: no ii’m on my palmhu2k.  
CA: oh ok  
CA: wwell fef wwants to talk to you wwhen youre out i guess  
TA: ok ii’ll be out 2oon.  


After he finished, Sollux went back to the couch and parked his ass in the exact spot it was before with the exception that now the lights were on.

“Hi ED.”

“You done bein’ fuckin’ nasty?”

“For now. I’ll make sure to be extra disgusting next time and I’ll give you all the gritty details since I know that’s like your kink,” Sollux jokes.

“UGH. I’m so close to blocking your ass for the next, uh, how long do lowbloods live again?”

“Forever. Now get back to the game while I talk to FF.”

Eridan sniffs and huffs in indignation, not bothering to give Sollux a response while he resumes navigating the ancient ruins.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling  cuttlefishCuller [CC] 

TA: eheheheheh.  
TA: hey FF.  
CC: Sollux!!  
CC: W)(at’s got you in suc)( a good mood?  
TA: ii told ED ii wa2 poopiing two get hiim two leave me alone and ii’m 2tiill iinternally laughiing about iit.  
TA: ju2t 2o you know.  
CC: Ewwwwwwwww!!  
TA: you can’t hiide what’2 iin2iide forever you know, FF.  
TA: everybody poop2.  
CC: EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!  
TA: eheheheh.  
TA: ii wa2 ju2t wa2hiing my face actually.  
TA: anyway2 what’2 up, ED 2aiid you needed me?  
CC: I was wondering if MAYB-------E.   
TA: maybe.  
CC: If maybe you’d be ok wit)( Eridan and I coming over tomorrow!! 38O  
TA: oh 2hiit.  
TA: really?  
CC: Y----ES!!  
TA: don’t you guy2 liive kiind of far away though?  
CC: I’ll get us t)(ere, don’t worry! I )(ave my ways.  
TA: well ii mean ii’m not about two 2ay no two that but.  
TA: iif twomorrow end2 up beiing a bad tiime you can come the next niight ii won’t mind.  
TA: but hone2tly iif you could get here twomorrow ii miight owe you my liife.  
CC: Aw you’re so cute, Sollux!  
CC: We mig)(t get in late thoug)(, just a warning! I’m sure we’re all going to get up later t)(an normal due to being awake during daylig)(t )(ours, but we will be there!!   
TA: yeah ok that’2 cool ii can riide wiith that.  
TA: you guy2 can 2leep iin my coon 2iince ii have a red 2iide and a blue 2iide but ii 2hould probably clean up.  
TA: ii’m pretty 2ure at one poiint duriing a maniic pha2e ii to22ed food iintwo the red 2iide and never took iit out.  
CC: You’re so gross!  
TA: and yet you 2tiill liike me.  
CC: 38D  
TA: diid you want two play 2liime rancher wiith ED and ii or are you goiing back two 2leep?   
TA: 2orry about keepiing you up.  
CC: T)(at’s alrig)(t! I t)(ink I mig)(t go back to sleep. I )(ave a bit of a swim a)(ead of me tomorrow before I get to Eridan’s place so I s)(ould rest up, I t)(ink.  
TA: ok, see you twomorrow then.  
CC: See you!!  


cuttlefishCuller [CC]  ceased trolling  twinArmageddons [TA]

cuttlefishCuller [CC]  began trolling  caligulasAquarium [CA] 

CC: Pack your bags -Eridan we’re going to Sollux’s tomorrow!!  
CA: man wwhy couldnt you guys just come ovver to my place instead  
CA: sols hivve is fuckin gross youvve been there before you knoww wwhat kind a filth that animal livves iin  
CA: at least my hivve is clean and i havve real edible food instead a nothin but fuckin hot pockets an shit  
CC: Your )(ive may not be DIRTY but it sure is CLUTT-ER-ED!   
CC: And last time I opened your fridge a bunc)( of awful wands fell out 38(  
CC: And I saw a faygo.  
CA: no you didnt   
CC: Yes I did.  
CA: no you didnt  
CC: Yes I did!!!!! >38(  
CA: yeah wwell you drink tab wwhich is arguably wworse than that bogus clowwn swwill  
CA: wwoww fuck nevvermind theres nothin wworse than faygo   
CA: i dont evven knoww howw i got that in the first place  
CA: last time that happened i wwas talkin to gam and he said some cockamamie shit about miracles and snappin into some rude elixir and maybe gettin my wwicked zone on  
CA: and miracles are like magic wwhich DONT FUCKIN EXIST  
CA: so next time you snatch a cold one just remember your awwful drink of choice is second to clowwn garbage for wwigglers  
CC: I don’t even like tab!!!!!  
CC: You’re just making t)(ings up.  
CA: i wwould nevver  
CC: You make t)(ings up all t)(e time.  
CA: yeah like howw you make up fairy tale lies about not bein able to control your glubs right  
CC: Glub!! 38)  
CC: But anyways I really s)(ould be going back to coon. I’ll see you tomorrow -Eridan!!  
CA: yeah ok see you then  


cuttlefishCuller [CC]  ceased trolling  caligulasAquarium [CA] 

“Sol.”

Oh, Eridan again. Sollux had forgotten they were on call for a second.

“Yeah?”

“We gonna go into the glass desert now or what? I’ve been waiting for-fuckin’-ever,” Eridan whines.

“Oh yeah ok, I’m ready if you are.”

The two of them spend the next couple of hours screwing around in the glass desert, thoroughly confused on what the purpose of this area is. There’s almost none of the four new slimes and no food to find and nothing to do except run around like an asshole and vacc up chickens. Sollux miraculously finds out how to bring life back into the desert and promptly loses his shit, spurring Eridan on to repeat Sollux’s actions in his own game. The result is two douchebags yelling way too loud for how late it is during the day and one of Sollux’s neighbors bangs on the wall in an effort to get him to shut the fuck up.

Sollux calls it quits then, telling Eridan to log the fuck off and to not lay even a single prong on the game until they can play together again tomorrow. When Eridan ends call, Sollux takes it upon himself to clean up his garbage dump of a hive before Violet Fuckbag and Feferi arrive so it doesn’t look like as much of a filthy trash-laden basement as normal. Gotta impress the quads, man. 

The forever tangled jumble of red and blue wires dumped all over the floor leading into the beehouse mainframes is a lost cause but he manages to pick up his game grubs (while also accidentally stepping on one, /fuck/), but not much more happens after that. Sollux ends up passed out on the couch again like the useless member of society he was always destined to be.


	2. Chapter 2

The door to Sollux’s hive slowly creaks open, said troll groaning in his sleep and rolling over to escape the noise by trying to hide in the dirty crumb-filled cushion seams of the couch. Feferi and Eridan poke their heads in, one after another, and Feferi giggles lightly to herself upon seeing Sollux passed out so late in the night.

“See Fef I told you, this sad sack a shit lives in quite frankly abhorrent, deplorable conditions an’ I can already feel the roaches craw-wlin’ up my pants.” Eridan shakes one of his legs to try and throw off the invisible bugs, clearly already trying to stir up more shit than necessary.

“Oh don’t be rude, Eridan! We’re here to make sure Sollux is ok, and you two /will/ play nice!! Now come inside, silly.” Feferi stomps her foot in mock anger and puffs up at Eridan, not at all tolerating him already pitching a fit. Eridan pouts and crosses his arms, nearly rolling his eyes. Feferi decides that’s a good enough response and slips inside, dragging Eridan with her by the wrist and gently shutting the door behind them.

Eridan takes it upon himself to scrutinize Sollux’s living arrangement as per usual when he visits, visibly cringing at a messy pile of chunky slime plus bits on the floor. “Is that a squashed grub? Fuckin’ nasty. Fef how-w does he /live/ like this?” He covers his nose with his shirt just to play up his disgust, even though Sollux’s hive smells more of bees and sickly sweet honey than garbage.

“Well,” Feferi starts, observing the surroundings with much less repulsion than Eridan, “how late were you two up? Because if you were up as long as I think you were, it’s no surprise Sollux is still asleep! Poor minnow probably was too tired to clean up.” 

Their idle chatter wakes Sollux up enough that he rolls his top half over to blearily squint at the pair of seadwellers with all the contempt he can muster in such a tired state. “What time is it?” he rasps.

“Well I dunno Sol maybe if you got your ass up and looked or maybe functioned at normal hours a’ the night like normal trolls it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Eridan!!” Feferi reprimands, smacking him on the arm. “What did I just say? Be nice!” That garners a sleepy snicker from Sollux, who immediately feigns innocence and looks away while trying not to smile when Eridan sends a stern glare his way. “Don’t act like you didn’t sleep the whole ride up here. You /snored/ and everything, and don’t even deny it! I have video evidence.”

“Feeeeef,” Eridan whines. “You’re embarrassin’ me. Not like you didn’t sleep the whole way here either, you fell asleep against me an’ everythin’ yet here I am not makin’ fun a you cause I’m a great guy and all.” Feferi laughs at that, patting Eridan’s arm where she’s previously slapped at him. It’s so nice to hear her laugh in person; it’s dubiously saccharine and light and makes a guy feel all warm and fuzzy like he’s laying out in the sun. Both Sollux and Eridan are well aware of Feferi’s lowkey mean streak when she doesn’t quite get her way, but really, can either of them complain? They’re both huge assholes and should be thankful Feferi even puts up with their constant horseshit at least some of the time.

Sollux sits up on the couch and shivers slightly. He’s left his little pocket of warmth he created between his body and the couch and realizes he forgot to put a new shirt on. His old one is still on top of a beehive and Sollux thinks he might just toss it out instead of going through the hassle of cleaning it. Fuck that noise in every leaking orifice it has. “So I take it the ride here went smoothly?” Sollux asks, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“It did!” Feferi says, grabbing Eridan again and dragging him over to the couch. They both sit down, Feferi in the middle, though Eridan hesitates at first and brushes off the cushion before planting his perfect highblood seadweller ass down on a couch obviously not fit for royalty such as himself.

“So what did you want to do tonight?” Sollux asks the pair of them. “Aside from play Slime Rancher because I’m sorry but I can’t sit on that game now that I figured out how to actually do shit in the glass desert. FF I know you use like a iPad or something for general computer shenanigans so if you need to use my desktop computer you can. ED did you bring your husktop?”

“Uh, yeah? What kind a idiot do you take me for?”

“A big one, eheheh.” Sollux and Feferi laugh in unison, resulting in a pouty Eridan.

“Fef w-why do you get on my case about my fuckin’ manners but leave Sol alone? If anyone deserves your misguided admonishment it’s the fuckin’ pissblood and you know-w it!” he accuses. It’s hilarious to Sollux how easily Eridan gets worked up over things, especially when Feferi is in the picture. Namely, when she’s giving someone else attention and not him. Poor, poor wiggler.

They argue back and forth for a few minutes, and in that time Sollux gets up and shuffles into the ablutions block to actually try and make himself presentable for the pretty girl on his couch. And for Eridan too he guesses, though the bulgebiter doesn’t deserve it. Sollux washes his face and brushes his teeth then tries to get his hair under control; it’s sticking up in every odd direction and he gives up after fighting with it for maybe five minutes. A shirt is also probably a good thing to wear too. And maybe some presentable pants that don’t have a stain on them from where he dropped some cheesy nachos on his thigh.

Peeking out of the doorway to the ablutions block reassures Sollux that Eridan and Feferi are still distracted, and Sollux does a totally sick ninja roll to keep from being spotted as he runs to his personal block. Face: degreased. New clothes: acquired. Fuck yes. 

Sollux, uh, realizes a little too late upon re entering the living room that there’s a stupidly high amount of trash on every horizontal surface that isn’t already covered in both bees and honey. It’s mainly empty energy drink cans and food wrappers and game grub magazines and… fuck, he totally looks like a neckbeard right now. Oh /fuck/ his throwing stars are just sitting there in a pile over in the corner out in the open for them to see, that is /so/ embarrassing God fucking damnit.

Neither of the sea dwellers on the couch seem occupied with their surroundings and don’t appear to be bickering anymore; Feferi plants a big ol’ smooch on Eridan’s cheek and he perks up at that, fins flapping. Fuck, that’s cute. Time to interrupt like an asshole. “Mind if I join you two?” Sollux says, squeezing in between them and forcing them to either end of the couch. He elbows at Eridan more than anything, practically stuffing him into the cushions on purpose like a huge prick.

“Yes,” Eridan grumbles once Sollux has made himself way too comfortable.

Feferi very visibly rolls her eyes at Eridan’s mock moodiness. It’s increasingly obvious that Eridan is just trying to heckle Sollux because he wants to pitch flirt with him, and Feferi thinks after they’ve both had a proper talk with Sollux and sorted out his feelings that she’ll let the two have at it. She can drag a whale carcass through the ocean’s depths with ease but like hell she can drag a confession out of her two stubborn boys about their crushes on each other. Just make out, already! Actually… that might be a good idea. Feferi thinks she’s got a rather fun activity planned for everybody later.

“Ok listen,” Feferi says, “Sollux, I think we really need to talk about what happened yesterday. Eridan, be nice. That goes for you too Sollux, don’t think I’ll let you off the hook! You and Eridan can pester each other after this is all said and done, got it?” Eridan nods in response and Sollux simply does his weird little nasally laugh to himself. “What?” Feferi asks, a tad confused.

“Fish pun. Off the hook. Eheheh.” Sollux practically glows when that gets a bubbly laugh from Feferi and an outright groan from Eridan.

“Let’s all stop being stupid for a second though. Sollux, you want to tell me about yesterday?” Feferi asks.

“Not really. I’m not even flipping my shit over it anymore, I’ve resigned to my fate.”

“Told you he wouldn’t cooperate, Fef.”

Feferi gives Eridan the stink eye and he backs down, leaning against the back of the couch and crossing his arms in yet another indignant pout. Getting through this might be harder than anticipated.

“What if I give you a reward afterwards?” Feferi says, oh so lightly resting a hand on Sollux’s upper thigh and pointedly staring at his crotch and then back up to his eyes. What the reward entails is perfectly clear and Sollux maybe goes a little yellow in the face just thinking about it. Rewards are cool, Sollux can get down with that, especially since it involves a pretty girl with lots of lovely curls that smell like the sea in a good way. Fuck, Feferi is so pretty, Sollux doesn’t deserve her. Eridan doesn’t either, but in Sollux’s opinion that douchebag doesn’t deserve anything except a kick to the bulge.

“I, uh, sure?” Wow, Sollux sure did fuck that up. Way to be smooth, what a fine way to impress a girl. The last thing Sollux needs on top of his gnarly lisp is to start stuttering like Eridan. “I mean yes. Yeah ok. I like rewards.” Surprisingly, Eridan keeps his trap shut about Sollux tripping over his words. Maybe the guy /can/ be decent after all. 

And who said miracles didn’t exist.

“Great!! So tell us about the dream!”

“Uh. I mean, I’m not really sure what else there is to say about it that I haven’t already said but ok I guess. I woke up in this really bright room and there were a whole bunch of trolls that didn’t actually have faces but their hands were super detailed. I was really confused for a lot of it until I just sort of knew that they were installing helmshunts in me. Some weird time fuckery things happened I guess and I wound up in some room covered from floor to ceiling with biowires and there was a really gross crusty old haggard looking version of myself hanging there fucking wheezing and shit. And then a biowire went up the thing’s nose and I woke up,” Sollux finishes.

“Like you ain’t already gross an’ crusty,” Eridan unhelpfully chimes in.

“I’d say I’m about as salt-encrusted as you are because of the whole living in seawater thing, but oh yeah, you’re a shitty excuse for a sea troll and haven’t gone in the ocean more than a few days in your entire life,” Sollux sasses right back.

“Will you both clam up!!” Both of them shut their traps and flip each other off instead. Feferi watches as Eridan and Sollux stare at each other with scowls plastered across their faces and thinks they’d look better if they were smooching each other instead. It’s plainly obvious it’s probably what they're thinking anyways, if not something dirtier. Sollux has a light dusting of yellow across his cheeks still and he’s being fidgety with his hands while Eridan’s fins are quivering in poorly-concealed excitement. Sigh. Boys. They take blackrom to a weird level that’s honestly sort of unfortunate and not quite normal, but whatever works for them, she guesses.

Feferi has to grab Sollux by the shoulder and force him to turn away from Eridan to look at her. “Ok, tell me what made you so upset?”

“Uh, all of it? FF I’m sorry but what about that wasn’t upsetting.”

“No I mean why do you feel like that could actually happen to you? You don’t feel safe?” she asks, a tad upset that Sollux doesn’t think she can’t properly take care of him. Sollux sighs and slouches against the couch, focusing on the hum of his bees while he tries to find out how to answer this in a way that Feferi will understand.

“FF I don’t really think you /get/ this. Like no offence but you’re really not in tune with what life after Ascension is like for anyone sub-teal.” Feferi is visibly offended at the statement and just fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. 

“How many times do I need to tell you that things will be different after I become empress? I’ll make sure everybody is taken care of and is happy and safe and you’ve known since we were kids that I’ve had big plans for the throne! I’d never let anyone hurt you Sollux, I know daymares are scary but you don’t actually have to be scared of that outcome! You will live in the lap of luxury and I will do everything in my power to make it happen, which seeing as who I am, really isn’t hard.”

“There’s no guarantee you’ll win the fight with the current empress an’ you /know/ that, Fef, you can’t act like you got everything under control when you’re nowhere near the throne yet,” Eridan says.

“He’s right, FF. I’m not trying to be a fucking prick but if you can’t win then I’m fucking /screwed/. I know you want to redefine what culling means but our current society is not tailored to people like me,” Sollux points out. “I don’t get a say in what happens to me and while I don’t fear death I’m scared of what happens if I’m alive. I don’t want to be turned into a machine. Fuck, even if you /do/ become the next empress who’s to say anyone will even listen to all your ideals?” 

Feferi looks distressed to hell and back and Sollux thinks he might get a good stern talking to, because… well, sometimes Feferi just plain doesn’t listen to people when they go against what she wants. 

“Well I still think neither of you truly understand what you’re saying. I have all the burdens in the fire, all of them, and I think I’ll handle them just fine! I’ve been doing great so far! You just don’t know what’s good for you like I do.”

/Sigh/. Called it. 

“Fuck, Feferi please,” Sollux begs, “You’re not /listening/ to me! Can you put yourself in my shoes for like two seconds and think about what this could mean for me? My future has two outcomes: slave or battery. Sorry for not believing in your bubbly personality and happy-go-lucky attitude with life and blindly following you but this shit /scares/ me. Try and think about how it feels to spend your entire life being told you’re not a troll but an expendable commodity,” Sollux explains.

This is so tiresome; Sollux loves Feferi with all his heart but sometimes it’s so goddamn frustrating when she blows everyone off for not agreeing with her agenda. 

“Uh,” Eridan starts, unsure if he should interject in this mess, “Your ideas seem sort a’... naive sometimes honestly. Have you even extensively thought out and planned what you intend t’do once ascending the throne?” 

“My ideas are not naive, Eridan!!!” Feferi scolded, puffing up again and generally looking distraught. “I just want everyone to be happy and free and why is that such a bad thing to want?”

“W-we ain’t never said it w-was a bad thing to w-want!”

“Then why are you acting like it is?”

“Fuck, guys, /stop/,” Sollux interrupts. This is turning into a shitshow way faster than he thought it would and it would be Real Fucking Neato if this conversation could stear back into territory that doesn’t result in Feferi crying. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Sollux’s feelings? “Can we not have this conversation anymore if this is what’s going to happen? This isn’t about FF’s future plans this is about me being scared of having tentacles and other gross shit digging into my body and I’d love it if you didn’t dismiss my problems.” 

Sollux was honestly getting a little pissed off at this point and and wanted Eridan and Feferi to get the fuck out so he could mope and beat up on himself in private for being a fucking inconvenience to everyone. Sollux loves to tease Karkat about being the worst thing a universe ever shat out but that award is firmly within Sollux’s possession and he knows it. He deserves to be a battery, what else is he good for? What could he ever accomplish in his short shitty life in comparison to the two sea dwellers sitting on his couch? A fuchsia and a penultimate violet? Where was his worth? Sollux is just a yellowblood, he’s worthless in their eyes. He’ll die long before they do and they probably won’t even bat an eye. Give it a sweep and they’ll forget he ever existed, and Sollux can’t blame them for it.

Why did either of them even bother with him? All he’s doing is complaining and whining about stupid shit when there’s bigger fish to fry and Sollux feels like the most selfish asshole in the galaxy. Maybe he should just accept his fate and become a ship. Maybe then he could be important to someone and do something with his life. His problems don’t matter because /he/ doesn’t matter and every single awful thing Karkat and Eridan has ever said about Sollux is 100% true. Feferi and Eridan would be so much happier if Sollux wasn’t here to start shit or bring them down with his awful bad moods. 

It’s not even that Sollux does this on purpose, he hates it too. He hates how heavy his sadness weighs him down until it feels like he can’t move an inch and it’s suffocating, like the life is being

“I’m such a piece of shit,” Sollux says, scrubbing his hands over his face. “I’m sorry I never should have said anything to start with, you guys should go back to your hives or something because in case you haven’t noticed I’m a fetid bag of wet hoofbeastshit that’s been sitting in the sun for too long and I’m just an unpleasant person to be around.”

“Sol w-what the fuck.” Both Eridan and Feferi are more than a little taken-aback at Sollux’s sudden shift in mood, and Sollux thinks they should have come to expect no less from the disgusting mutant lowblood with bipolar problems to be an absolute annoyance to both them and everyone they associate with, past, present, and future. Leave it to Sollux to ruin a perfectly good visit with his issues. 

“Sollux we’re sorry we didn’t mean to upset you!” Feferi pipes up. It doesn’t mean jack shit because of course they didn’t, it’s just that Sollux’s awful shitty brain ruins every good thing ever and Feferi and Eridan should leave while they can. They can find someone better to be in their quadrants instead of a moody unstable asswipe like himself.

Feferi grabs Sollux and drags him into a hug and her curly hair just about swallows his face entirely. Sollux doesn’t fight it because, as much as he’d like to abscond and isolate himself and not talk to anyone for the next two weeks, Feferi smells nice and the physical contact is actually appreciated. It helps sometimes to have someone there to just hold him when he gets a particularly bad moodswing. Eridan has been oddly silent and Sollux knows it’s because the guy just isn’t good with emotions, never has been. He’s overdramatic to hell and back but when it comes to actually sitting down and /seriously/ talking about his emotions, Eridan tends to freeze up and not know what to say aside from complete bullshit. 

“I get so scared sometimes,” Sollux whines into her curls. He leans into her weight and wishes she was warmer but the pressure from her arms curled around him is reassuring. Eridan is eyeing Sollux’s back like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to touch and Feferi feels his hesitation, deciding to reach over and grab a fistful of his shirt and yank him closer to Sollux. He can help too. Feferi gives Eridan a pointed look that very obviously conveys “Give the poor guy a hug” and Eridan obeys without further thought, mainly glad to know that if he joins in it won’t be weird.

He wraps his arms around Sollux’s middle since Feferi has his upper back and nestles his face aside Sollux’s. Feferi decides to dislodge one of her arms and sling it around Eridan to squish all three of them together. Sollux chirrs pitifully and sags against them; he’s more than infinitely glad for the distraction from the awful storm brewing in his pan and wishes they could stay like this forever. This can’t solve his problems but right now it feels like it could, and Sollux tries to focus on what’s happening now instead of what’s happening in the future. 

“Life is hard, guys. It’s hard and nobody understands.” His lisp and being smooshed up against another troll mangles his words but they’re understandable anyways. Everyone has irons in the fire and sometimes those irons never come out. They burn brilliant, white-hot and angry and sometimes the sparks they spit out sting more than they ever should, but their burden need not be dealt with alone. Everybody’s futures are uncertain, looming terrifying and great over the horizon and that just seems to be a fact of life, but if there’s one thing that’s for certain it’s that they’ll always have each other to rely on when their irons get too hot and heavy to manage by themselves.

“We don’t have no clue what’s gonna happen to any a’ us suckerfish but I think we’re more than capable of putting up a good fight,” Eridan says. Feferi nods and gently pries Sollux’s head out of her mane of hair to give him a smooch on the forehead. She figures that now would be as good a time as ever for a pick-me-up. Eridan is always welcome to join of course, so long as Sollux is ok with it. 

Feferi smoothes her hand over Sollux’s cheek then tips his head up enough so their faces are more aligned, and Sollux perks right up when Feferi delivers a slow, gentle kiss. Kissing is good, Sollux likes kissing cute girls. Thank fuck he brushed his teeth. Eridan meanwhile is thoroughly confused as to what just happened and he backs away from the pair before he becomes even more awkward than normal.

“You want me to help cheer you up a little?” Feferi asks Sollux. He nods enthusiastically and makes to kiss her again but she stops him. “You want Eridan to join too?” Sollux has to pause at that, a little knocked off balance because what the fuck she can’t just ask him if he wants Eridan to mack on him too. Eridan’s right the fuck there and Sollux goes yellow in the face because /of course/ he wants to make out with Eridan. He’s hot and sometimes pisses him off in the right way enough that, well, it’s best he not think of that right now.

Eridan seems just as surprised at the question as Sollux is and looks like he’s trying to merge with the couch to avoid hearing the answer. His cheeks and even the tips of his fanned-out fins are tinged violet and it looks like he just bluescreened internally, completely at a loss of what to do with his arms or, well, anything. He manages a squeak and that’s about it. /Does/ Sollux want to smooch him? What if he doesn’t and Feferi was wrong? They black flirt almost every time they talk but /what if/. Fuck, this is the worst place to start panicking about dumb things like this but Eridan can’t help but feel a little upset at Sollux’s silence. 

Of course nobody wants to actually kiss Eridan, he’s /him/. Annoying, needy, excessively clingy and way too in everyone’s faces. He’s a handful to deal with almost all the time and it’s an honest to God miracle that Feferi even likes him. He wouldn’t blame Sollux if he told him to get the fuck out so Sollux could have alone time with Feferi. Oh God, he really is the worst excuse for a troll imaginable, even filthy lowblood trash doesn’t want him. Fuck fuck, /fuck/.

He’s about to get up and go to a different room or something but freezes (again) when Sollux apprehensively nods and Eridan isn’t sure how exactly to feel about that. The weird uncomfortable weight in the pit of his stomach has been replaced with relief but even then he still feels vaguely nauseous, like his brain doesn’t quite know how to handle this new information.

Sollux /does/ want him, he wants him! Someone wants him!! It’s real, it’s not a dream, but it still feels fake. They’ve been toeing around each other for probably an entire sweep and have been making awkward passes at each other so he /knows/ Sollux is interested, he /knows/. But it still feels like he’s never interested /enough/, like Eridan isn’t good enough to have an actual relationship with. He’s fun to harass online, but not fun to deal with in real life because he’s so Goddamn overdramatic for no good reason. Fuck, he never thought he’d have one quadrant filled, much less /two/. Maybe that’s why Sollux said yes, because of his weird-ass two fetish or whatever. 

Or maybe the two of them are just so piss-poor at articulating how they feel that they’ve held off on making anything official because on no, /emotions/.

Eridan tries to say something but it comes out as a garbled, unintelligible mess due to his nerves and Feferi laughs at him, not entirely unkind. That only makes him turn even more violet in the face and freeze up yet again, fins flicking erratically from anxiety. He wants to clap his hands over the damned things but wow look at that, his arms aren’t working again. This is like Feferi saying yes all over again; Eridan knows it’ll get easier but right now he’s firmly planted on Freakout Island and it doesn’t help that Sollux isn’t talking. 

Feferi is well aware that her two boys have lost their pans, but she /is/ glad that Sollux at least had it in him to say yes. She knows how hard this is to admit and she’s proud of him! Also watching Eridan turn into the personification of a 404 error is also funny; never let it be said that Feferi is 100% nice 100% of the time.

Now that the first hurdle has been successfully cleared, maybe she can get them to actually kiss! Feferi thinks that prodding them to actually do the deed right now is a little too much to expect from a pair of dumb trolls who don’t know how to talk to each other about serious things like feelings and emotions, but she knows that Sollux /loves/ to kiss and that Eridan will get jealous when Sollux is getting all of the attention and not him. Sollux also gets jealous if she’s giving all her attention to Eridan, but he tends to be less verbal about it unless he knows either of them are doing it to spite him, in which case he gets loud. Oh, what a perfect plan this is.

“You hear that Eridan? Sollux wants to kiss you, just like I said!”

Sollux makes a weird gurgling noise and Eridan just sort of wheezes, looking like he’s about to keel over any second, and this is the most hilarious thing Feferi has witnessed in a long, long time. She decides to spare them any more embarrassment on her behalf (because really, they embarrass themselves on their own anyways) and pushes Sollux away from her so neither of them are craning their necks. 

She hesitates, then decides to shove Sollux all the way to the end of the couch so his back is flush against Eridan’s. Both Eridan and Sollux look like deer caught in headlights and Feferi watches in amusement as neither of them try to scramble away. Eridan’s fingers twitch and she hopes that means he wants to hold Sollux. 

“How cute,” Feferi comments.

She goes in for the kill and kisses Sollux again, hovering over both him and Eridan.

Sollux proceeds to freak the fuck out because there’s a really cute, really pretty girl kissing him while pressing him back into Eridan and this is both simultaneously too good to be true and is also his worst daymare. What did he ever do to deserve this? It’s a blessing and a curse because while he knows what to do with Feferi, he’s downright clueless and scared out of his pan on how to interact with Eridan intimately at all.

He hopes Eridan makes the first move so he doesn’t have to. An awful, annoying part of his stupid mutated brain tells him the best reason Eridan should do something first is so Sollux can do something /second/ and wow, yeah, Sollux may or may not be taking this two thing too seriously. He’s spared having to think more on the subject because Feferi is going for the gold and Sollux can’t help but turn into jelly against Eridan.

Feferi chirrs and Sollux chirrs right back like a needy, desperate fool. She sets her hands on Sollux’s shoulders and kneads gently, Sollux putting his own on her sides to pull her a little closer. Eridan makes a good couch, and his reward is getting to watch Feferi and Sollux make out. He can get his turn later? Maybe? Probably? 

Feferi’s lips were so incredibly soft against his own, it was almost unreal. Her hair was even softer, and Sollux threaded his fingers through her curls languidly as the kiss deepened. Normally Sollux would be terrified to do this sort of shit in front of Eridan, but he can’t help but wonder if he’ll join in the longer he watches everyone but him get some action. Sollux would like that. He’d like that /a lot/. In the meantime however, Feferi was demanding all of his attention and he had zero problems with it. One of her hands had snaked up to pet at his cheek and brush back his messy hair, fingers then sliding down his neck and it was hard to concentrate on both her touches and her kisses at the same time. 

She’s a great kisser and knows how to pull what she wants out of Sollux, in this instance aiming for his soft, sweet noises. He hums and purrs in interest and complies right away when Feferi swipes a chilled tongue over his bottom lip, silently asking for him to open his mouth. 

Eridan seems to gather some courage (or maybe he’s finally gotten fed-up with the lack of attention) and places his admittedly shaking hands on Sollux, testing the waters to see if it’s ok. He’s scared Sollux will push him away in favor of getting more kisses from Feferi but he’s pleasantly surprised when Sollux leans back against his chest more, humming in interest. Eridan is more than pleasantly described honestly, he feels fucking ecstatic knowing that someone wanted him and that his advances, no matter how small, are reciprocated. Thankfully the other two are too distracted to notice his fins flapping around happily like an overexcited wiggler.

He gropes at Sollux’s sides and hips, slipping a few fingers under the hem of his shirt and ghosting the tips of his claws against warm skin. Sollux shivers in response and Eridan swallows audibly, glancing up to see Feferi giving him a look; she smiles against Sollux’s lips and /winks/ at him and wow, ok, apparently this is Doubleteam Sollux Time. Eridan’s ok with that, he can roll with it, he’s cool like that and totally isn’t nervous at all, nope. Feferi doesn’t hesitate at all and shoves a hand up Sollux’s shirt, sliding her fingers up to his chest. 

Sollux chirrs and can’t quite decide who’s touch he wants to lean into and ends up just sort of wiggling in Eridan’s lap. He’s got one hand fisting a handful of Feferi’s shirt and another clutching onto her curls; he gets so focused on kissing sometimes that he forgets to unclench his hands and Feferi thinks it’s adorable. When Eridan kisses his fins fan out and tremble and she thinks her boys are so adorable when they get lost in the moment.

Feferi grabs the hem of Sollux’s shirt and pushes it up his body and she’s immensely glad when Eridan seizes the opportunity to touch all of Sollux he can. She’s sure he’s been /dying/ to get his hands all over Sollux, and from the way Sollux loses track of what he’s doing and stills against her mouth he’s been craving this too. 

“Hey Eridan,” Feferi starts, using the pause to press a kiss to Sollux’s jaw, “Why don’t you kiss him too? Sollux you want Eridan to kiss you too?” She looks at Eridan and taps at Sollux’s neck, giving Eridan a hint at what she means. 

“Oh fuck /yes/,” Sollux urges, tipping his head to the side to give Eridan room. This is fucking /great/, he’s got a couple fish taking care of him and there’s nothing better than this except maybe when someone unexpectedly gifts him an entire pizza. Eridan’s hands all over him and Feferi’s mouth on his has him tingling in all right right places, a wave of shivers racing up his posture pole when Eridan’s fingertips brush across a particularly sensitive area. He chirps in encouragement and outright trills when he feels Eridan’s mouth on his neck. 

Eridan places a trail of smooches up to Sollux’s jaw then down again, planting an open-mouthed kiss on his pulse point. Sollux squirms and shifts in Eridan’s lap while Feferi paws at the hem of his pants and oh God /yes/ please keep going, oh /fuck/. 

Sollux unceremoniously spreads his legs like he has zero shame (he probably really does have no shame at all ever) and Feferi giggles at his display. He wants to say /touch me there right now PLEASE/ but when he tries to speak all that comes out is a garbled sort of whiny groan. He’s already so worked up from just a few kisses and touches and he’d be embarrassed if he wasn’t so thirsty for this. 

Eridan’s fingers twitch against Sollux’s sides, itching to touch Sollux down lower but not daring to in case that was Feferi Only Territory. It seems said fuchsia sea troll can read minds because she swiftly unbuttons Sollux’s pants then snatches up one of Eridan’s hands, placing it right on top of Sollux’s junk. Eridan just about bluescreens again, partly in shock (his /hands/ are on /Sollux/) and partly in embarrassment because Feferi has to help him fucking get ready to pail Sollux (pail Sollux oh fuck) like a useless wiggler pre-pupation that has no idea what to do. Eridan knows how to pail someone, he just didn’t think his and Sollux’s probably relationship would jump from awkward flirting to fucking so quick. 

Not that he’s complaining.

But still. It’s just jarring, is all. Some warning would have been nice, it’s only fair.

Sollux apparently grows tired of waiting and grabs Eridan’s hand, showing it down the front of his pants. Eridan’s pan stops working altogether for a second or two and he realizes belatedly that Sollux isn’t wearing underwear. Of /course/ the asshole wouldn’t be. If there was anyone gross enough to forego wearing underwear it was Sollux Captor. 

“Sollux, can you lean up for a second?” says Feferi. Shirts (at least on Sollux) aren’t allowed, she’s decided, and when Sollux gathers up enough focus to get off of Eridan, she hastily shoves his shirt up and over his arms and head then tosses the article of clothing carelessly to the floor. Sollux has to readjust his glasses then slumps back against Eridan, the coolness of the sea dweller’s chest a nice contrast to his own warmth.

It still seems that Eridan doesn’t quite know how to proceed without fucking ship up potentially and Sollux just isn’t having it. He picks up Eridan’s hand and sticks it right in his pants so the loser can feel his emerging wriggly; Eridan’s fingers don’t do much except sit there listlessly for a few seconds but then he finally, miraculously starts to explore. His touches are light and cautious. Every time his fingertips bump against something they flinch away, but the more Sollux relaxes and chatters mindlessly the more Eridan begins to touch in earnest.

Sollux has always sort of been loud and tends to make lots of noises when someone is touching him. It’s not really a thing he can help much but he finds it’s useful to help encourage partners and to let them know that he likes what they’re doing. Feferi tends to be pretty bold in her actions but Eridan is the complete opposite, which is actually surprising to Sollux. Normally Eridan is always in everyone’s faces, but apparently when faced with the prospect of a shiny new bucket he fails spectacularly. 

It’s been decided, Feferi thinks, that pants shouldn’t be allowed either. It’s awful hard to touch someone with pesky fabric in the way, after all. “Sollux, mind lifting yourself up so we can get your pants off?” she asks. Sollux apparently doesn’t feel like wasting time on waiting for someone to help him get naked and takes it upon himself to use Eridan as leverage to get his ass off the couch and shuck his pants off in one almost fluid movement. They get caught around his ankles and Feferi has to help him kick them off. They end up on the ground next to his abandoned shirt and Feferi takes the opportunity to take off her skirt as well. Both Eridan and Sollux blatantly stare at her bare lower half, drinking in the sight of her emerging bulge. 

She’s well aware of their greedy eyes on her and she laughs, leaning forward to kiss each of them on the lips. Sollux gets a simple peck while Feferi gives Eridan just a little more attention since he’s gotten the backseat this entire time, it wouldn’t be fair to leave him out of this now would it? She kisses him with just as much enthusiasm (and tongue) as she did Sollux, and Eridan turns into goop in her hands. He gets a couple pets as well and Sollux unabashedly watches like a depraved fool because hey, they’re all quadmates here, what’s a little voyeurism? 

Sollux reachers forward and toys with the few inches of Feferi’s bulge that have come out so far while she gives Eridan attention, and she chirrs and spreads her legs open a little more for him. She practically unsheathes all the way in his hand and /fuck/ that’s hot; Sollux trills to let her know as much and she trills right back. Hell, even Eridan trills. Sollux has unsheathed almost completely at this point and can feel Eridan’s bulge on his backside. From the feel of it he’s not far behind.

Eridan’s gone back to fingering Sollux’s bulges (he’s not at all surprised Sollux has two, he’d been told as much), giving them a couple strokes while Sollux tugs on Feferi’s, outright groaning at the feel of someone else’s hand on him. 

“Eridan, you want to help me support Sollux for this next part?” Feferi asks, “I’ll give you a nice reward after.”

“Y-yeah, fuck,” Eridan replies, more than willing. 

Sollux knows exactly what that means and licks his lips in anticipation, beginning to shift on Eridan to present his already sopping wet nook to Feferi. He’s so down to get fucked into oblivion by a pretty girl, and it’s twice as great because he’s got Eridan feeling him up from behind and oh /God/ he needs a bulge in him yesterday.

Of course Eridan will do anything asked of him right now so after Sollux finishes squirming around and being fucking annoying he grabs his lower half and shifts on the couch to give Feferi better access. Sollux spreads his legs and his bulges languidly slide across his lower tummy, leaving behind trails of yellow in their wake as they try to knot with each other or at least find another hand to grab instead. They’d gotten a good taste of friction after being able to wrap around Eridan’s fingers and squeeze and yeah, fuck, Sollux wants that hand back right the fuck now.

He takes Eridan’s hand and once more places it on his bulges, which waste no time in wrapping themselves around the nearest finger. Sollux groans and bucks into his hand and Eridan makes a surprised little noise, or at least Sollux /thinks/ it’s surprised. He doesn’t quite know what to expect from Eridan since this is the first time he’s been involved in this kind of… activity. 

Feferi scoots in between Sollux’s legs and pets at his inner thighs. They’re soft and fun to touch and Feferi loves them, but when Sollux whines for more she relents and wiggles closer. He’s so impatient. 

“We all ready to go?” Feferi asks. Both boys enthusiastically nod and she gives each of them a quick peck, then guides the tip of her bulge to Sollux’s nook. He’s already dripping down his thighs and onto Eridan and she doesn’t have to do much else, her bulge already trying to burrow in. She lets about half of it in and Sollux whines again.

“FF stop teasing,” he says, wiggling his hips to try and entice her into giving him more. She simply laughs, giving the poor buoy what he desperately craves and he sighs in gratitude once she’s buried in as far as she can go. She gives Sollux a few seconds to get used to her, not wanting to hurt him. Eridan has taken up kissing and sucking on Sollux’s neck again, leaving behind little yellow bruises in his wake. He experiments, nibbling a little here and there and even biting at one point, gently though of course. Sollux is very receptive to it and proffers as much of his neck as he can to Eridan and groans when Eridan squeezes the base of one of his bulges. 

Feferi pulls herself out a few inches then slides home again and Sollux sucks in a breath, wrapping his legs around Feferi’s hips. She uses the opportunity to grab Sollux and grind into him, letting her bulge writhe and squirm in his nook and she feels his nook bear down around her, dragging out a pleased sigh. She was always the quietest out of the three of them but it never meant she enjoyed it any less and she made sure to let Eridan and Sollux know that. 

She gives one more good thrash in Sollux’s nook then withdraws, setting up a slow pace. If Sollux could spread his legs open any more he could, /fuck/. He trills to the rafters and uses Eridan and the back of the couch to help angle himself enough to push forward and meet Feferi, their bodies connecting with a tiny wet slap. Sollux would laugh if he weren’t the one getting fucked.

Eridan’s making the most out of being squashed in between the arm of the couch and Sollux and slowly pumps Sollux’s bulges, alternating between the two while his free hand gropes Sollux wherever the fuck he wants. Nobody has protested yet and Eridan is entirely unsure if he’ll ever get to do this again so like hell we won’t take advantage of the situation. Sollux’s movements makes the fabric of Eridan’s jeans slide roughly over his own bulge and he resists the urge to shove Sollux up and away so he ca jam a hand down his own pants, which have become soaked with a growing patch of violet. Even Feferi’s got a lovely trail of fuchsia down one thigh. 

Speaking of Feferi, she’s picked up the pace and is in the process of wringing out every moan and chirp from Sollux she can. He’s turned into boneless jelly against Eridan and croons at a particularly hard thrust, Feferi cupping his cheek and dragging a thumb across a cheekbone.

“There we go, that’s my good boy,” she says, already in the process of getting a little breathless. Sollux doesn’t quite have it in him to talk anymore and simply nods in response, vocalizing with more primitive noises instead because what are words? “You feeling any better yet?” she asks. Sollux once more chatters mindlessly and Feferi will take that as a yes. 

Sollux is embarrassingly easy to get off and it doesn’t help that he’s got stimulation via both his nook and bulges. Eridan has been very dutiful and has been paying very good attention to his bulges, giving firm strokes and squeezes and letting them periodically wrap around his wrist. Yellow is getting fucking everywhere but Sollux makes the most beautiful Goddamn noises this side of Alternia and someone would have to cull Eridan before he takes his hands off this pitiful troll. 

Ok, well, maybe let’s not go that far.

Sollux is panting at this point and wow, he really /is/ easy, Eridan observes. His attempts to thrust back against Feferi and buck into Eridan’s hand have gotten sloppy and erratic, and then he blindly paws at Feferi.

“Stop, stop wait,” Sollux says in between breaths. Feferi backs away, bulge slipping out with an audible pop and she looks concerned. 

“Is everything ok?” she asks.

“Y-yeah, fuck, it’s /great/, I just wanna— fuck, you’ll see,” Sollux answers. 

He gets up off of Eridan and turns around to face him, getting on his hands and knees and sticking his ass in the air for Feferi. 

“Ok now I’m good, sorry, just wanted to kiss ED.” Feferi giggles at that and Eridan turns violet in the face like he didn’t just have Sollux’s bulges fisted in his hand. 

Feferi grabs Sollux’s hips and brings him against her, letting her bulge slide back in Sollux’s dripping nook. He pushes back against her to let her know that she can move again and she wastes no time in picking up the pace. Sollux ends up slinging an arm around Eridan’s neck to help support the weight of his upper half and doesn’t even ask to kiss Eridan, he just fucking goes for it. 

Eridan /squeaks/ and his fins flap hard enough to make a sound. Oh God, he was so embarrassing. Lucky for him, Sollux isn’t paying much attention to things that aren’t immediately concerned with getting fucked and he visibly relaxes, melting into the kiss. It sends a bolt of warmth settling right in his guts and his bulge /aches/ to be touched, but Eridan dare not interrupt what might be one of the best things to happen to him in a long time and keeps his hands firmly planted on Sollux. Feferi bucks hard into Sollux, who then moans into Eridan’s mouth and fuck, fuck, /fuck/ that’s hot. He wants to swallow down all of Sollux’s noises and— wow, the split tongue is a bit of a weird feeling against his own tongue, but it’s nothing Eridan can’t get used to. 

Sollux decides he maybe wants to do some touching too and unbuttons Eridan’s pants with his psi, then lifting him into the air slightly to slide his awful stupid dumb pants down enough to expose his bulge. It shies away when it comes into contact with the cold air and Sollux sets Eridan back down, fisting his violet bulge and essentially giving Eridan a very sloppy handy. Eridan blurts out an odd combination of a gasp and groan against Sollux’s mouth and bucks up into Sollux’s hand. Feferi is sighing out cute little moans, eyes closed and brows knitted in concentration as she fucks Sollux. They must be getting close, but with how haphazard Sollux’s movements are getting he must be right on the edge. 

Motes of red and blue crackle around Sollux’s twinned horns and then the hand clasped around Eridan’s bulge, channeling his psi right into the twisting tendril with the goal of getting Eridan to finish right in his hand. Unfortunately for Sollux, it’s still too early on to get that effect, but it does wrench out a harsh moan from the seadweller and he arches away from the arm of the couch and into Sollux’s fingers. 

Feferi hits the most /perfect/ spot with her bulge and Sollux gasps, angling his hips just right so she can do that again.

“Fuck, FF, right there, oh fuck please I’m right fucking there, come on,” Sollux pleads. 

“Where’s your bucket,” Feferi breathes, not too far behind herself. She’s getting sloppy with her movements as well but does her best to aim for Sollux’s sweet spot, loving how his nook ripples around her bulge and that alone nearly sends her over the edge.

“Don’t— nnhg, don’t know, fuck, wh-who cares oh /fuck/ please please go a little faster FF /please/,” he sobs out. At this point Sollux has crammed his face into the crook of Eridan’s neck and is holding onto the poor guy for dear life, his hand squeezing Eridan’s bulge so hard it almost hurts.

“S-Sol,” Eridan says, trying to pry Sollux’s fingers off, “Hurts, loosen up.”

“Sorry.” Sollux does as he’s asked, releasing his bulge entirely and letting it wrap around his hand instead. He knows it’s best to not hold such a delicate part of someone’s anatomy when he finishes, because yeah, sometimes he doesn’t quite realize he’s got a death grip when he lacks focus. 

“If we s-stain your couch I-I can buy you a new one,” Feferi stutters out. She’s so cute.

“S’fine,” Sollux breathes. Couch later, pailing now. “Just— please, please.”

Feferi takes mercy on him and finishes Sollux off, fucking him just right that he locks up and arches as he comes. He practically howls as he spills all over the couch and, unfortunate for Eridan, over him. Feferi is a few seconds behind him, slow enough that Sollux becomes overstimulated but doesn’t ask her to stop because he wants her to finish too. He bites his lip then mouths at Eridan’s neck, feeling Feferi ram against him one final time then hold herself there, filling him up as she finishes inside him with a cute little groan. Sollux grunts as his nook milks her for all she’s worth, Eridan staring in awe because God fucking /damn/ was that hot as hell.

She takes her time catching her breath, bulge retracting from Sollux’s nook. Sollux is going to have to empty himself later but right now that doesn’t matter. He gets off of Eridan and turns to Feferi, kissing her on the cheek then collapsing on the other end of the couch.

“That was /nice/,” he uselessly comments like a huge tool. “But you still got ED to finish off. I’m just gonna sit here and watch like a creep.” He tiredly waggles his eyebrows at the two of them and Feferi chuckles, brushing some hair out of her face and behind a beautiful fin. Eridan just groans, though he obviously isn’t upset.

Feferi hobbles over to Eridan on her knees and gets over him, her hands brushing his fins back.

“You want me to?” She asks him. Eridan gives her a goofy smile and nods, loving her soft, gentle touches on his fins.

“Yes please.” 

She grabs Eridan’s bulge and coaxes it to untangle with itself, then guides it to her nook. She’s had enough time to cool down that she won’t be too sensitive, but doubts she can finish a second time. Eridan isn’t too far along and Feferi is wiped, but still doesn’t mind doing this for him. Yes, they came over here to make sure Sollux was ok and to make sure he felt good, but Eridan matters too. She’d never leave him hanging like that.

She slides down on Eridan’s bulge, sitting on him, then grabs his hands and sticks them under her shirt. He slides his hands up and feels at her rumble spheres and she giggles. Even though her and Eridan have been a thing for a while now he still gets nervous sometimes when they fool around and it’s the most endearing things ever.

Eridan makes to kiss her and she meets him half way. They chirp and coo at each other and it’s so saccharine it makes Sollux want to gag, as if he didn’t just make a boatload of various Troll Noises. Eridan takes his hands out of Feferi’s shirt and runs his hands through her silky, shiny locks and he looks like the happiest Goddamn troll in the multiverse. Feferi picks herself up then drops down on his bulge and he shivers and sucks in a breath, clearly more at ease with getting to pail with someone he has more experience with. Sollux isn’t too mad about that, he knows that feel. 

“Oh fuck, Fef,” Eridan mumbles. 

Feferi smiles and bends down to smooch him silly while basically bouncing on his bulge it doesn’t take long to reduce Eridan into a whimpering, panting mess as he leans against the arm of the couch with Feferi straddling him.

He ends up grabbing her hips and bucking up into her, finishing after a few minutes and filling her just as she had Sollux. There’s an interesting number of slurry color combinations all over Sollux’s couch when Feferi gets off of Eridan and yeah, Sollux is going to have to work hard at getting the stains out of the cushions. He might actually take Feferi up on that new couch offer because fuck, his couch, even before the slurry stains, was honestly kind of gross.

Whatever, he could worry about that later. What matters now is that everyone is sated and Eridan is smiling like a wiggler in a candy store while Feferi brushes her prongs through her hair. All three of them end up laying all over each other on the couch, not at all minding that they’re more than a little sticky. They can clean up later, but pailing really sucks the energy out of a troll and everyone could really go for a short nap.

“So Sollux, do you feel ok now?” Feferi asks, curled up between both her sleepy boys. He mumbles something and realized belatedly that he was completely incomprehensible and nods yes instead.

There’s no better feeling than being surrounded by trolls who actually /care/. Feferi’s ideals may be a little misguided but she’s genuinely trying, and Eridan, for all his pitch flirting, kept Sollux company and came over to make sure he didn’t have some sort of downward spiral like he’s so prone to having after shit hits the breeze blender. Both of them have their faults, but honestly, like Sollux gives a shit.

They nap on the couch for a few hours, and Feferi wakes up alone.

She wonders where they went, but doesn’t remain clueless for long. They’re in Sollux’s personal block from the sound of it, making all sorts of angry hissing noises in between periods of brief silence interspersed with telltale heavy breathing. She gets up off the couch and shuffles over to the block, leaning on one side of the doorway. Sollux and Eridan are having a little pitch makeout session and Feferi laughs when she realizes they haven’t noticed her eavesdropping on their little hatesnog. They’ve obviously gotten together and it’s adorable. They both look up at the sound of her laugh and blush to the tips of their ears and fins respectively, and Feferi smiles at them. Her boys are so cute.

Life isn’t perfect, but it becomes so much more bearable and enjoyable when it’s spent with the trolls who make it feel like maybe life is worth it, like everything will be ok. 

Things will turn out fine in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey wow I'm not very good at porn but I tried


End file.
